Dictionary that is needed

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN PERSONAL ADS

40ish - 49
Adventurous -Slept with everyone
Athletic - No Tits
Average Looking - Ugly
Beautiful -Pathological Liar
Contagious Smile -Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure -on medication
Feminist -Fat
Free Spirit – junkie
Friendship first –former very ‘friendly’ person
Fun -annoying
New age -body hair in wrong place
Open minded -desperate
Outgoing -loud and embarrassing
Passionate -sloppy drunk
Professional -Bi*ch
Voluptuous –very fat
Large frame -hugely fat
Wants soul male -stalker


WOMEN’S ENGLISH

Yes - No
No - Yes
May be - No
We need - I want
I am sorry - You’ll be sorry
We need to talk – you’re in trouble
Sue, go ahead – you better not
Do what you want – you will pay for this later
I am not upset – Of course I am upset, you moron
You are very attentive tonight – is sex all you ever think about?


MEN’S ENGLISH

I am hungry -I m hungry
I m sleepy - I m sleepy
I m tired - I m tired
Nice dress – nice cleavage
I love you -let’s have sex now
I am bored – do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? – I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? – I’d like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? – I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? – I’d like to have sex with you
Those shoes don’t go with that outfil – I’m gay


And finally……..
A recent scientigic study found that women find different male faces attractive depending upon where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a women is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine feature. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved his back side.

THIS IS FOR A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!!